Respite Care (Sort Of)

Lately my daily life includes caring for my grandmother at my grandparent’s house. (I will discuss my reasons for doing so in a later blogpost.) My days off from work start with getting my grandmother dressed for the day and fed her breakfast and medications with my mother. After that, the day depends on if my grandparents or mother need me to do anything. Only then do I allow myself to do what I planned to do for the day.

Paused on my afternoon run.

This week, my parents and siblings have gone on vacation and my aunts have generously taken off work and taken on the responsibilities of caring for my grandmother – all day. Of course they are not primarily doing it to relieve my mother and I, but I cannot help but feel grateful for them because they have. My mother can fully enjoy her vacation and I have the opportunity to do things I wouldn’t normally do on my days off.

 

Simple things such as deep-cleaning my apartment, cooking for myself, and going for a run along the water are things that I would not normally allow myself much time to do. It also makes a difference in my sleep pattern. It can be extremely frustrating when my brain will not allow me to sleep at night, the pressure of knowing  I need to be up at a certain time in the morning to be at my grandparents’ house building with every passing hour. While my aunts are caring for my grandmother, I have slept in and still accomplished many things on my to-do list without the stress of a time limit.

Respite care is defined as temporary care of a dependent elderly, ill, or disabled person, providing relief for their usual caregivers. In our case, my aunts provide care for my grandmother already, but not in the mornings like my mother and I do. They are, in my opinion however, providing us with respite care and that is why I am grateful.

Taking Care of Family

To begin, my grandmother means the world to me. Now that her health is declining, I am trying to balance between a being a nurse and a granddaughter. My nurse brain will not shut off and sometimes I find myself thinking, saying, and doing things that I would normally not.
Sometimes I come off as being overbearing, disrespectful, and obnoxious to the rest of the family members caring for her. I have no idea what to say, do, or think anymore as I worry about overstepping my boundaries and wanting to participate in her care.

Frustration abounds and the stress is tying me up in knots. My mind constantly wrestles with my knowledge of the human body and the memories that I share with my grandmother and my perspective is blurred.

On top of my own struggles, I am trying to help inform and educate my family through this process. My extended family frequently check in, wanting to be updated, and visit when possible. I want to support my family, but some days I falter. Needless to say, taking care of family members is complex, especially when the objective is holistic care.

Has anyone else gone through an experience similar to this?

 

 

2015 New Years Resolutions

I do love good lighting. Wintertime is the best time for mood lighting – and what better way to light the mood than by stringing white Christmas lights up everywhere?

My new years resolutions are based on six characteristics I would like to foster in the new year. The chosen characteristics are ones that I may have but are underdeveloped or ones that I feel I lack entirely. I have written resolutions based on the characteristics I want to exemplify – and some things I just want to accomplish.

The six characteristics are as follows:

1) Patience

One can never have enough patience. This year especially I have noticed how my patience has grown and how much I still need to improve.

2) Trust

I have been challenged more than ever to be trusting of others in my professional and personal life. I hope that in the next year I can develop a sense of trust that will enable me to care for my loved ones.

3) Wisdom

Of course, this does not simply mean “learning.” It goes without saying that my education will not end when I graduate next May. I want to develop the wisdom that comes from experiencing joy, tragedy, love, and laughter. I hope that this next year I can truly devote myself to the relationships I have previously nurtured.

4) Faith

My faith journey is a very long and twisty one. I hope that in the coming year I can foster good habits in my prayer life and pass along only the best for my friends.

5) Courage

This one is a difficult one to explain. While I may be able to advocate for my patients, I want to develop my own sense of courage. I want to be able to withdraw from relationships and revoke bad habits that hold me back from becoming the best person I can be and providing the best care I can as a nurse. This will be especially beneficial as I progress in my nursing career.

6) Compassion

The above being said, I hope to have the compassion to understand others and develop relationships that will benefit others. I want the compassion I develop to transfer to the patients I care for.

Now I know this post does not necessarily cover my new years resolutions themselves but there will be another post coming that will cover them. Although, I’m curious as to what others’ new years resolutions are… Two of my more practical ones are to exercise more regularly and finally learn how to snowboard.

Spring Break: Day Seven

This morning was the essence of “chillax.” For those who may be unaware, the word “chillax” is derived from a combination of the colloquial term “chill”, meaning to be calm, and the word relaxing. For example, laying in bed half the morning working on homework, reading, and watching YouTube videos was very chillax.

Once the afternoon hit, I became increasingly lethargic and managed to convince myself that a nap was appropriate. I always struggle with naps, because as much as I enjoy sleeping, the repercussions are always much worse than I care to handle. This time, however, I tried to fool myself into thinking that it was not a true nap if I was reading and just happened to fall asleep doing so. 

 

On awakening, I prepared myself for Stations of the Cross and a study/hangout session with a friend afterward. Stations of the Cross always has a way of humbling me and refocusing my spiritual compass. It helps me become more aware of the sacrifice Jesus made and reminds me that I am accountable for his suffering every time I sin. As harsh as it may sound, I do not think of it as the stereotypical “Catholic guilt” – instead, I think of it as the most endearing thing a loved one could do. 

 

With that in mind, I cheerfully joined my friend for what was supposed to be a night of coffee, catching up, and studying. Instead, we decided to try the hot chocolate from Moonstruck Chocolate (DELICIOUS!), study, and grab some dinner at Little Big Burger (veggie burger and truffle fries for me, of course). 

 

All in all, it was a very pleasant semi-end to my spring break.

Spring Break: Day Two

I realize that though vacation is a time for relaxation (i.e. sleeping in and avoiding normal obligations), I cannot use it as an excuse not to attend mass. Thus, the first item on the agenda was to visit St. Norbert’s Catholic parish. It is a lovely, small, parish community that is home to a fantastic choir. Not only did I enjoy mass itself, I thoroughly enjoyed celebrating with a companion.

 

Next, my sister and I went to get pedicures at a local nail salon. The Victoria Nail Salon was a little bit more expensive than I would normally go for, but I thought why not give it a go. The nail salon had a variety of complementary snacks and beverages as well as a plethora of magazines to choose from. The pedicure itself was wonderful. I chose the rejuvenating therapy pedicure which consisted of pumice scrub for calluses, a paraffin treatment for dry skin, and a full leg and foot massage in addition to the pedicure.

 

After our pedicures, my sister and I went to pick up groceries. My sister wanted to properly celebrate my 21st birthday with me, so we bought ingredients to make sonic screwdrivers. The drink is based off of a British science-fiction television series I am obsessed with called Doctor Who. A sonic screwdriver is very easy to make and it only requires three ingredients (I will do a post on it later). Needless to say, it is now my favorite drink.

 

One of the key parts of the day was my nap. It was a BRILLIANT nap! I slept from just after lunchtime until around dinnertime, missing a FaceTime session with my mom (sorry Ma!) and several episodes of Parks and Recreation.

 

For the evening, my sister made a delicious salmon dinner – which I will definitely replicate and post at a later date. We settled for the evening to watch About Time and Thor: The Dark World. I loved About Time and thought the special effects of Thor were awesome! I would definitely recommend both movies.

 

Seaside, Oregon

 

The first day at Seaside… Awful, but not bad enough to keep me away from the beach!

This weekend I had the opportunity to join my godmother and her friend for a trip to Seaside. The mini-vacation was much looked forward to as it fell the weekend after the first week back to nursing school. Though I had to prepare for the trip by studying additional material for the following week, it soon felt worth the extra efforts.

 

The drive over was long, to say the least – at one point we were stuck in the same spot for an hour. It was ample time to get on good terms with my godmother’s friend who had known me since I was little, but with whom I had never really had a conversation. We discussed many things, ranging from books we loved to pet peeves. As strange as it sounds, I felt like an adult. Not a student, not a youngin’, but a proper adult.

Of course I ordered pancakes!

When we arrived, a full-on storm was raging and we hastily rushed to our room for cover. Though it was late, none of us had eaten in a while so we arranged a motley dinner for ourselves. Unbeknownst to us, such diverse dinners would be our specialty for the weekend.

 

The next morning I arose early enough to read a book, watch the news, study a little, and make breakfast for myself. The weather had not much improved from the night before, but I ventured out for a run – and came straight back to a hot shower. Eventually we dragged ourselves back into the outside world for dinner and a shopping trip (it did not last long).

 

My excitement could not be contained…for long.

One of the things I was most grateful for was the easy-going spirit of my godmother and her friend. For instance, when trying to decide where to eat dinner, I half-heartedly suggested Pig’N’Pancake, a restaurant I remember going to with my family. I figured the women would want to try something a little more upscale and would not go for something more… traditional. To my surprise and delight, they both agreed to indulge me. One may imagine how thrilled I was.

 

Our dinner that night, however, was a little more low-key. It was Mediterranean-themed with and abundance of grapes, hummus, bread, hazelnuts… and triple chocolate chip cookies. What can I say? I do not mind being healthy once and a while. Honestly, it was a fun, chill night. We sat in the warmth of inside, listening to the storm while we watched This Is 40. Although I enjoyed it, neither my godmother nor her friend liked it so we immediately moved on to Kate and Leopold, a film we all knew we liked.

A beautiful last morning of vacation.

Sunday was a wonderful day. I had a proper sleep-in, rising after three snoozed alarms and reading in bed for half an hour. The morning was bright and sunny, perfect for a walk to a coffee shop with the anticipation of a beautiful, steaming cup of espresso (as well as fast wifi). Mass was relaxing and put me in a great mood to go for a long run. My run was only shortened a few minutes by the appearance of clouds on the horizon and forceful gusts of wind, swelling the sand around my feet, foretelling the inevitable return of Our Great Hydration.

With the decline in forecast and my early-evening departure by bus, we decided to make our way over to Astoria in the afternoon to do a little sight-seeing. In actuality, we made it to one pier, took some pictures, sat and drank some coffee, and shopped for antiques.

 

I cannot express enough how pleasant and refreshing the weekend was after the shock of returning to nursing school. Although nothing terribly difficult or horrible occurred during the week, my mindset was a little boggled and I needed the extra time away from campus to settle myself back into the groove of studying, critically thinking, and caring. The weekend allowed me to catch my breath before diving back in to the chaos that is nursing school.

 

 

Taking Care of Sore Muscles

My muscles have been feeling a little sore from yoga strengthening sessions, especially my legs. Despite all the stretching I have been doing, my legs are still fairly stiff, so I decided to try an Epsom salt soaking solution. I found the Dr. Teal’s brand at my local pharmacy and decided on the Relax & Relief solution with Eucalyptus and Spearmint. 

 

As I ran the bath with the Epsom salt, I smelled the glorious, refreshing scent of the herbs and knew I would be soaking for a while. I grabbed a book from my currently reading pile, played the jazz mix my sister compiled for me, and settled in.

 

The bath left me feeling rejuvenated and my legs felt like new! I am so grateful for the soaking solution. The scent lingered in the bathroom for a few hours, but as it smelled so good it was a welcome guest. Also, there was plenty left for future baths which was nice – a great value!

The Perfect Bath

Relaxation is never easy when there is always so much to do. One of the ways I like to relax is by taking a bath. I can read or watch a movie, listen to music or an audiobook, mull over the day or make plans. Basically, a bath is a great way to multi-task.

 

The beauty items I have acquired over the months came in to good use whenever I am worn down and in need of some self-care. For instance, the bath bomb from LUSH was perfect! Honey Bee smelled like pure sweetness and was as soothing as a cup of camomile tea.

 

To start, I removed all my makeup using the YES soothing facial cleansing wipes and ran a warm-verging-on-hot-bath. I filled my water bottle with cold water and played some mood music. 

Although I could have easily fallen asleep, I brought with me a supply of books to read. I was finally able to finish The House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros, a book that my aunt lent me a while back and moved on to a couple other books I am currently reading. Fortunately I remembered to hydrate myself (hence the water bottle) amidst the engaging literature. 

 

After soaking for a while, I got out and dried off. My skin has been abnormally dry lately, so I decided to apply an absurd amount of body butter. (My favorite is Blueberry from the Body Shop, but as it is discontinued, I settle for the papaya scent.) I also applied Hope in a Jar by Philosophy, my favorite facial moisturizer at the moment. 

 

The result of all my efforts and time? Contentment and drowsiness. 

 

Ridiculous Analogies of My Current State of Being

As I was running errands and interacting with people today, I realized how much more entertaining things would be if we could sum up how we are through analogies. For instance, instead of the typical dialogue:

Cashier: How are you?

Me: I’m good, thanks. How are you?

Cashier: Good. I’m good.

 Me: Good.

Our conversations would flow more like this:

Cashier: How are you?

Me: I am swimming in the ocean, with one eye on the shoreline, listening to the waves calling me further in. How are you?

Cashier: I’m sorry to hear that. I am melted chocolate without a mold, shaped only by a caring hand.

Me: Good for you! I hope your day matches your mood.

I swear, I’m not crazy. I just have a hard time brushing people off when they or I ask how the other is. I do not necessarily want to tell them my whole life story, but at the same time I wish we could share a little bit of our lives with each other without it being awkward. I understand that some people have enough problems and wouldn’t necessarily want to bother nor be bothered by anyone else, but it irks me that I can’t have a bad day in public. It’s not appropriate.

 

For instance, today I was exhausted from a rough night and constantly felt irritated by those around me. I knew my poor mood was due to lack of sleep and I felt myself constantly correct behavior. After a while my frustration grew and I retreated home to relax.

 

My challenge is this: ask someone how they are doing and mean it. Ask after their family or their job or school and talk with them if they want to continue the conversation. Make time to make a connection with someone – you never know, they might need it.

Treat Yo Self

Good, better, best,

Never stop to rest,

Until the good is better

and the better, best.

 

Out of all the things from the Stevens Family show on Disney Channel I remember, I remember Ren Stevens sing-songingly recite this. It is almost poetical how simplistic the rhyme is – especially with its depth. Now, this may be me over-analyzing things again, but I have found myself repeating this to myself every day and wonder if it is damaging my idea of a successful day.

 

I always wonder right before bed if there are a few more things I can do before ending my day. Whether that be writing a blogpost or reading one more section of a textbook, I always think of one or two more things that I can do to make my day seem more fulfilled. Silly, no? 

 

With the fast pace of nursing school, I constantly wonder if I am missing out on things. For instance, today I had an episode of New Girl playing on my computer as I took notes for a class. (SPOILER ALERT FOR SEASON 2) It got to the episode in which Nick kisses Jess (finally!) and I had to take a moment to recover my thoughts. It was such an expected thing, based on the way the season was going, but it took me completely by surprise. 

 

Or take, for a simpler example, looking at my cousin’s senior soccer photos. I could not believe how grown-up my cousin looked! I still cannot believe time flies the way it does. 

 

What if I am missing out on things? I do not want to miss out on my loved ones’ lives! I do not want to do poorly in school either! I want to keep up with everything all at once! WHAT TO DO?!?!

 

It occurred to me when I went to get bubble tea and fries (do not judge me – truffle fries and guava bubble tea with tapioca hit the spot after an exam) – that all I need to do is use my rewards wisely. Instead of napping when I do not necessarily need the sleep or watching a movie on my own I could be cooking in the kitchen with friends or enjoying someone’s company while waiting in line to devour a delicious dessert (cough*Salt’N’Straw*cough). However pressed for time I may be, spending time with friends and accomplishing other tasks all amount to productivity in my book.