Before

A young man and young woman meet on a train. They strike up a conversation so stimulating that when it is time for the young man to depart, the young woman agrees to spend the next 24 hours with him. The pair explore Vienna and discuss a wide range of topics, drawing them closer and closer together.

Fast forward 10 years and the two people reunite under different circumstances. This time they have less time to spend with each other, yet the conversation picks up as if it had never stopped. The man is married with a child and successful career as a writer while the woman is passionately engaged with environmental projects and a boyfriend. The few hours the two spend together rekindle the connection that formed years ago.

Another 10 years pass. The couple, now with two kids of their own, are struggling to keep their relationship together. Circumstances have yet again changed and they are forced to reformat their life from the repercussions.

Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke have remarkable chemistry throughout the films directed by Richard Linklater. The majority of the scenes include them walking, talking, and laughing in picturesque European towns and the combination makes for an intriguing series.

I absolutely loved the fluidity and ease of the couples’ conversation. It was abounding in sincerity and lacking in judgment, two attributes not normally recognizable in day-to-day conversation between two strangers. I felt as though I was eavesdropping on a pair of friends.

Obviously the effortlessness stream was in part due to a well-written script, but it did make me wonder about how I can experience a similar connection with patients in a short amount of time.

All nurses are taught about developing rapport with patients which is useful for practical purposes, but the deeper the rapport, the greater the ability to make a difference in my patients’ life. Unfortunately I do not have all 12 hours of our shift to spend with each individual patient. I can, however, respond to patients with sincerity and a lack of judgment, just as the couple did in the films.

Easier said than done sometimes, I am sure, but the least I can do is try!

 

Ridiculous Analogies of My Current State of Being

As I was running errands and interacting with people today, I realized how much more entertaining things would be if we could sum up how we are through analogies. For instance, instead of the typical dialogue:

Cashier: How are you?

Me: I’m good, thanks. How are you?

Cashier: Good. I’m good.

 Me: Good.

Our conversations would flow more like this:

Cashier: How are you?

Me: I am swimming in the ocean, with one eye on the shoreline, listening to the waves calling me further in. How are you?

Cashier: I’m sorry to hear that. I am melted chocolate without a mold, shaped only by a caring hand.

Me: Good for you! I hope your day matches your mood.

I swear, I’m not crazy. I just have a hard time brushing people off when they or I ask how the other is. I do not necessarily want to tell them my whole life story, but at the same time I wish we could share a little bit of our lives with each other without it being awkward. I understand that some people have enough problems and wouldn’t necessarily want to bother nor be bothered by anyone else, but it irks me that I can’t have a bad day in public. It’s not appropriate.

 

For instance, today I was exhausted from a rough night and constantly felt irritated by those around me. I knew my poor mood was due to lack of sleep and I felt myself constantly correct behavior. After a while my frustration grew and I retreated home to relax.

 

My challenge is this: ask someone how they are doing and mean it. Ask after their family or their job or school and talk with them if they want to continue the conversation. Make time to make a connection with someone – you never know, they might need it.