Fueling the Fire

Several months ago I admitted to feeling entirely burnt out with my job. Now I am proud to say that I have rekindled my passion – by transferring units!

The transition has not gone as smoothly as I thought, but in some ways it has gone better than I had hoped. There were some complications with scheduling and communication, but I have finally integrated entirely into the NICU. The other nurses were very welcoming and genuinely seem excited that I have joined the team. As apprehensive as I am to prove my worth, I am enjoying every minute of working with such compassionate people.

Interspersed with time on the floor are classes called “Didactic” which is defined as … Basically it is like nursing school that focuses specifically on neonates. Knowing the theory behind our practice is integral. As many nurses know, policies and standards of practice are based on evidence-based research that denotes the best practices. Needless to say, I am asking many questions and “poking” peoples’ brain often.

Focusing on one patient population has allowed me to further develop my critical thinking skills, but to be quite frank, working more closely with such a vulnerable population is the most fulfilling part of my new job. The resilience of neonates is incredibly inspirational!

Have you ever made a change in your work life that has made a major difference in your personal life? Let me know in the comments!

Before

A young man and young woman meet on a train. They strike up a conversation so stimulating that when it is time for the young man to depart, the young woman agrees to spend the next 24 hours with him. The pair explore Vienna and discuss a wide range of topics, drawing them closer and closer together.

Fast forward 10 years and the two people reunite under different circumstances. This time they have less time to spend with each other, yet the conversation picks up as if it had never stopped. The man is married with a child and successful career as a writer while the woman is passionately engaged with environmental projects and a boyfriend. The few hours the two spend together rekindle the connection that formed years ago.

Another 10 years pass. The couple, now with two kids of their own, are struggling to keep their relationship together. Circumstances have yet again changed and they are forced to reformat their life from the repercussions.

Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke have remarkable chemistry throughout the films directed by Richard Linklater. The majority of the scenes include them walking, talking, and laughing in picturesque European towns and the combination makes for an intriguing series.

I absolutely loved the fluidity and ease of the couples’ conversation. It was abounding in sincerity and lacking in judgment, two attributes not normally recognizable in day-to-day conversation between two strangers. I felt as though I was eavesdropping on a pair of friends.

Obviously the effortlessness stream was in part due to a well-written script, but it did make me wonder about how I can experience a similar connection with patients in a short amount of time.

All nurses are taught about developing rapport with patients which is useful for practical purposes, but the deeper the rapport, the greater the ability to make a difference in my patients’ life. Unfortunately I do not have all 12 hours of our shift to spend with each individual patient. I can, however, respond to patients with sincerity and a lack of judgment, just as the couple did in the films.

Easier said than done sometimes, I am sure, but the least I can do is try!

 

2015 New Years Resolutions

I do love good lighting. Wintertime is the best time for mood lighting – and what better way to light the mood than by stringing white Christmas lights up everywhere?

My new years resolutions are based on six characteristics I would like to foster in the new year. The chosen characteristics are ones that I may have but are underdeveloped or ones that I feel I lack entirely. I have written resolutions based on the characteristics I want to exemplify – and some things I just want to accomplish.

The six characteristics are as follows:

1) Patience

One can never have enough patience. This year especially I have noticed how my patience has grown and how much I still need to improve.

2) Trust

I have been challenged more than ever to be trusting of others in my professional and personal life. I hope that in the next year I can develop a sense of trust that will enable me to care for my loved ones.

3) Wisdom

Of course, this does not simply mean “learning.” It goes without saying that my education will not end when I graduate next May. I want to develop the wisdom that comes from experiencing joy, tragedy, love, and laughter. I hope that this next year I can truly devote myself to the relationships I have previously nurtured.

4) Faith

My faith journey is a very long and twisty one. I hope that in the coming year I can foster good habits in my prayer life and pass along only the best for my friends.

5) Courage

This one is a difficult one to explain. While I may be able to advocate for my patients, I want to develop my own sense of courage. I want to be able to withdraw from relationships and revoke bad habits that hold me back from becoming the best person I can be and providing the best care I can as a nurse. This will be especially beneficial as I progress in my nursing career.

6) Compassion

The above being said, I hope to have the compassion to understand others and develop relationships that will benefit others. I want the compassion I develop to transfer to the patients I care for.

Now I know this post does not necessarily cover my new years resolutions themselves but there will be another post coming that will cover them. Although, I’m curious as to what others’ new years resolutions are… Two of my more practical ones are to exercise more regularly and finally learn how to snowboard.

The Nightmare After Christmas

This post is nothing like the movie. I just thought it was a clever title.

The night before last I had a horrific dream in which I was caring for a young patient. While I cannot remember what the patient looked like or whether the patient was male or female, I can remember the patient was kind, patient, and humorous. Suddenly, in the dream, I realized the patient was bleeding from the nose. Then I looked at the patient’s ears and they too were bleeding. Everywhere I looked, the patient was starting to bleed.

For some reason the patient did not have IV access so I tried to start an IV. I repeatedly failed and the more I tried the more the patient bled. Some how my scrubs began saturated with blood and I woke up with the same damp feeling on my skin. The smell of fear mixed with the scent of blood lingered in my nose as I rose from bed, disoriented, gasping for breath.

I do not know if others have had dreams like this (or if nightmares like mine are even remembered), but this dream hit me hard. I awoke frightened and with the heavy feeling of guilt and inadequacy which was hard to shake. Now all I want to do is study and practice my nursing skills.

As the new year draws closer I think about the changes that will occur in 2015, including receiving my BSN and RN license. I wonder if the dream was my way of preparing for the future… I obviously need to find another method of doing so.

That being said, I have been working on my New Years Resolutions and will post them within the next day or two. In the meantime, enjoy this:

Belated Merry Christmas from a student nurse!

The Side Effects Of Studying

We have our first exam coming up on Friday in a course called Foundations. My professor does not have any presentations or study guides to study off of, so most of my studying has been off of notes I have taken in class. My professor told us to think of everything we have learned in IEL and in class and that would be all we needed to know for the exam. As if it were that simple to synthesize all the practical and structured knowledge we have acquired in the last five weeks of classes.

Her seemingly lack of guidance in studying for the impending exam made me think about the overall knowledge we have gained. I summed it up to two main questions I must ask myself when answering NCLEX-style questions (National Council Licensure Examination):

• What is ultimately going to be the best option for the care and safety of my patient?
• What does this mean in context to my patient?

I like how Linfield teaches using the patient-centered approach – it reinforces my ideal of the compassionate nurse, which is something I strive to be. I like that patient care is so important that part of our first assessments in the IEL curriculum incorporates “applying principles of therapeutic communication.”

The presumption many nursing students have is that the course on communication will be “easy.” I have already found it quite useful in addressing many fears nursing students have (i.e. talking too much and not being able to establish rapport) in beginning clinical work. It makes me proud to know that Linfield nursing students are considerate enough of patients that they think about verbal interactions and exchanges as much as physical procedures and interactions.

I’m not quite sure this makes sense… I’ve been studying for quite a while and, as a result, my brain is having difficulty formulating coherent thoughts not directly related to skin assessment or nursing interventions. Hopefully my thought comes across and that I receive some feedback from you as to whether you agree/disagree with it or simply some tales of healthcare experiences you have had.

Thank you and goodnight.

Introductions in Nursing

One of my favorite classes of this semester is definitely Clinical/IEL. It is similar to a lab session in other science classes where knowledge is put to practice. In fact, IEL stands for Integrated Experiential Learning. It is also considered Clinical, because after learning the “nursing basics” we are sent out to clinical sites to practice what we know in a safer, less controlled setting.

 

This week in IEL we have started practicing patient admission assessments which includes taking vital signs and auscultating lung, heart, and bowel sounds. The reason I enjoy IEL is that as we are role-playing and practicing, we can question and constructively instruct each other while maintaining the educational atmosphere characteristic of a normal class lab. Occasionally, the role-playing goes awry and students are detracted from the purpose of the exercise. I will be honest – tonight I was in a giggly mood. My poor partners were making the most of it, but I still feel horrible about my behavior. When it was my turn to assess my “patient,” I could not remember several steps on my own and had to check and be prompted. Needless to say, the experience was discouraging.

 

The process reminded me of rehearsals for a show I assistant stage managed for, Fifth of July by Lanford Wilson. New to the process of collegiate theatre, I was unprepared for the abruptness of line-calling during rehearsals. The stage manager interrupted frequently with the right lines and right phrases immediately if not before the actor finished calling for the line. As one of the people who constantly counts her mistakes, I reminded myself of the reason I was not an actor. During the remainder of the IEL process, however, I became more determined to remember the steps not simply as I was taught them, but as their overall significance in the admission process.

 

As my clinical advisor told me, every patient interaction will be unique in some way. Thus, the order of the assessment process will deviate slightly, but the process will always be the same. There is no script for this act, but the act always has the same events: introductions, recording vital signs, auscultating body sounds, and so on.